Thursday, November 18, 2021

Post No. 019: My Only Girlfriend, Part 11 — I Cannot Reach You


(Image from Wikipedia)

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is now: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: "If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States." Dial 988

I Cannot Reach You

You have sentenced yourself to death
and cannot see beyond your cell.

Tomorrow, I may find you lifeless and
not my art, nor my poetry, nor even
my love could wake you.

Prayer only tempers the symptoms,
because God is a methodic physician.

I am powerless to stop your suffering;
only you can grant the pardon,
or throw the switch.

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., A Creative Writer)
"I maybe say too much about how life really is!"

My Writing Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: This poem is really, really difficult for me to talk about, because the reason that I wrote it was to try and prevent Sandra—who was my first and only girlfriend—from ending her life...

...Because, by the time I wrote this poem, we had broken up since we both realized that I was never going to be able to "overcome" being gay and so there was no point in continuing our relationship, due to the fact that we only started dating after I came out of the closet as gay to her! You see, I was trying really hard to not be gay—and she was trying really hard to "save me" from being gay.

And Sandra was going through a very difficult time in her life, due to our breaking up, along with having a lot of difficulties with her family, mostly due to our relationship and the way that her family—but mostly her parents—felt about me. Sandra's relationship with her parents had gotten so bad that they had kicked Sandra out of their house and she had moved in with my family!

Thankfully, Sandra sought a therapist for counseling to work through her issues and she went on to study the culinary arts in New York and—eventually—she became a chef. Plus, she eventually reconciled with her family! Anyway, this is one of the last poems that I wrote for her toward the end of our romance... And it will always be a poem that calls up a great deal of intense emotions for me!

And this poem was also published on my "Small All White in the Forest" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Small All White in the Forest."

This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.

-Paulee

https://smallallwhiteintheforest.blogspot.com

International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP):

Welcome!

The International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) is dedicated to: preventing suicidal behaviour, alleviating its effects, and providing a forum for academics, mental health professionals, crisis workers, volunteers and suicide survivors.

Founded by the late Professor Erwin Ringel and Dr. Norman Farberow in 1960, IASP now includes professionals and volunteers from more than fifty different countries. IASP is a Non-Governmental Organization in official relationship with the World Health Organization (WHO) concerned with suicide prevention.

If you are feeling suicidal or know of someone who needs help, browse Help (https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/) to find a crisis center anywhere in the world.

https://www.iasp.info

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is now: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (please see the hyperlink below for the website):

988 has been designated as the new three-digit dialing code that will route callers to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. While some areas may be currently able to connect to the Lifeline by dialing 988, this dialing code will be available to everyone across the United States starting on July 16, 2022.

Talk To Someone Now

If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States.

What Happens When I Call The Lifeline?

First, you’ll hear a message telling you that you’ve reached the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

We’ll play you a little hold music while we connect you.

A skilled, trained crisis worker who works at the Lifeline network crisis center closest to you will answer the phone.

This person will listen to you, understand how your problem is affecting you, provide support, and share any resources that may be helpful.

Remember, your call is confidential and free.

Should I Call The Lifeline?

No matter what problems you’re dealing with, whether or not you’re thinking about suicide, if you need someone to lean on for emotional support, call the Lifeline.

People call to talk about lots of things: substance abuse, economic worries, relationships, sexual identity, getting over abuse, depression, mental and physical illness, and loneliness, to name a few.

https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is now: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: "If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States." Dial 988

This "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" Post No. 019 was edited on September 5th, 2023.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]