Post No. 020: My Only Girlfriend, Part 12 — To Be Entered In

(Image from dreamstime)

To Be Entered In

When the fortresses
are felled—
until
the walls
come down—
and towered
doubts
erode
thin,
we
conceal
our
inner selves
like
barriers
that
surround
gardens to be
entered in.

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., A Creative Writer)
"I maybe say too much about how life really is!"

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My Writing Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: This is one of my favorite poems for Sandra—who was my first and only girlfriend—though, to be totally honest, I can't remember why I wrote it!

But, after we were engaged to be married, Sandra and I broke up since I was trying to be "straight" through my relationship with Sandra and she was trying to help me be "straight"; and after we took a vacation together to California, we decided that I was never going to stop being "gay" no matter how hard I tried! However, we both kept our engagement rings (she bought me a solid gold band and I bought her a one carat diamond solitaire) as a way to symbolize the love that we did share...

...Anyway, I wanted to talk about this romantic part of my life—through our relationship—with the thought that we really do "conceal our inner selves" so often to everyone around us because we are oftentimes guarded. Thus, the phrase "until the walls come down" encompasses this idea, because I was trying to convey the concept that we honestly are "gardens (of love) to be entered in," but our 'true beauty' can only be known by everyone around us "when the fortresses (which guard us) are felled."

And this poem was also published on my "Three Dark Horses" and "Small All White in the Forest" blogs (please see the hyperlinks below for the blogs), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message I am trying to convey through "Three Dark Horses" and "Small All White in the Forest." Plus, I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message I am trying to convey through my new "The Oneness Of God" spiritual practice!

This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.

-Paulee

https://threedarkhorses.blogspot.com

https://smallallwhiteintheforest.blogspot.com

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This "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" Post No. 020 was edited on April 26th, 2026.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]

Post No. 019: My Only Girlfriend, Part 11 — I Cannot Reach You

(Image from Wikipedia)

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is now: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: "If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States." Dial 988

I Cannot Reach You

You have sentenced yourself to death
and cannot see beyond your cell.

Tomorrow, I may find you lifeless and
not my art, nor my poetry, nor even
my love could wake you.

Prayer only tempers the symptoms,
because God is a methodic physician.

I am powerless to stop your suffering;
only you can grant the pardon,
or throw the switch.

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., A Creative Writer)
"I maybe say too much about how life really is!"

My Writing Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: This poem is really, really difficult for me to talk about, because the reason that I wrote it was to try and prevent Sandra—who was my first and only girlfriend—from ending her life...

...Because, by the time I wrote this poem, we had broken up since we both realized that I was never going to be able to "overcome" being gay and so there was no point in continuing our relationship, due to the fact that we only started dating after I came out of the closet as gay to her! You see, I was trying really hard to not be gay—and she was trying really hard to "save me" from being gay.

And Sandra was going through a very difficult time in her life, due to our breaking up, along with having a lot of difficulties with her family, mostly due to our relationship and the way that her family—but mostly her parents—felt about me. Sandra's relationship with her parents had gotten so bad that they had kicked Sandra out of their house and she had moved in with my family!

Thankfully, Sandra sought a therapist for counseling to work through her issues and she went on to study the culinary arts in New York and—eventually—she became a chef. Plus, she eventually reconciled with her family! Anyway, this is one of the last poems that I wrote for her toward the end of our romance... And it will always be a poem that calls up a great deal of intense emotions for me!

And this poem was also published on my "Small All White in the Forest" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Small All White in the Forest."

This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.

-Paulee

https://smallallwhiteintheforest.blogspot.com

International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP):

Welcome!

The International Association for Suicide Prevention (IASP) is dedicated to: preventing suicidal behaviour, alleviating its effects, and providing a forum for academics, mental health professionals, crisis workers, volunteers and suicide survivors.

Founded by the late Professor Erwin Ringel and Dr. Norman Farberow in 1960, IASP now includes professionals and volunteers from more than fifty different countries. IASP is a Non-Governmental Organization in official relationship with the World Health Organization (WHO) concerned with suicide prevention.

If you are feeling suicidal or know of someone who needs help, browse Help (https://www.iasp.info/resources/Crisis_Centres/) to find a crisis center anywhere in the world.

https://www.iasp.info

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is now: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline (please see the hyperlink below for the website):

988 has been designated as the new three-digit dialing code that will route callers to the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. While some areas may be currently able to connect to the Lifeline by dialing 988, this dialing code will be available to everyone across the United States starting on July 16, 2022.

Talk To Someone Now

If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States.

What Happens When I Call The Lifeline?

First, you’ll hear a message telling you that you’ve reached the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.

We’ll play you a little hold music while we connect you.

A skilled, trained crisis worker who works at the Lifeline network crisis center closest to you will answer the phone.

This person will listen to you, understand how your problem is affecting you, provide support, and share any resources that may be helpful.

Remember, your call is confidential and free.

Should I Call The Lifeline?

No matter what problems you’re dealing with, whether or not you’re thinking about suicide, if you need someone to lean on for emotional support, call the Lifeline.

People call to talk about lots of things: substance abuse, economic worries, relationships, sexual identity, getting over abuse, depression, mental and physical illness, and loneliness, to name a few.

https://988lifeline.org/talk-to-someone-now

The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is now: 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline: "If you’re thinking about suicide, are worried about a friend or loved one, or would like emotional support, the Lifeline network is available 24/7 across the United States." Dial 988

This "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" Post No. 019 was edited on September 10th, 2024.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]

Post No. 018: My Only Girlfriend, Part 10 — Dear Brother

(Image from Rainbow Light Foundation)

Dear Brother

Please recognize my prayer,
Dear Brother,
charred black as knowledge
onto this oblivious white.
For, someone
as thoughtful
as umber (though, passionate
with auburn, like her hair
in April light)
needs to understand that
I love her so.
But the thermostat in my soul,
Dear Brother,
is much like the fire
which men think they own.
Quickly as sunsets pass you by,
Dear Brother,
the reassuring sunlight fills me,
but the fearful midnight
then swells;
and—yet—I appear as indifferent
as the twilight.
I beseech you,
Dear Brother,
to please let her know
that the flowers
blooming from me
come from the loving
that she sows.

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., A Creative Writer)
"I maybe say too much about how life really is!"

My Writing Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: It's kind of difficult to talk about this poem because of what I was going through at the time that I wrote it. I was fighting with Sandra—who was my first and only girlfriend—mostly because of me, and I penned this poem, literally overnight, explain to her why I was so very difficult to "read" emotionally.

And I used a metaphor about praying to Jesus ("Dear Brother") in order to explain to Sandra how I thought and felt. Looking back now, I realize that the qualities about myself which I was describing could be thought of as "bipolar." And in the phrase, "I appear as indifferent as the twilight," I was trying to describe the way I usually dealt with the emotional rollercoaster upon which I very often found myself riding! Anyway, I was really just trying to convey to Sandra why I was usually so "totally unemotional" on the outside: it's because I was usually so "totally emotional" on the inside and was trying to maintain a "socially acceptable decorum" at all times!

And this poem was also published on my "Small All White in the Forest" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Small All White in the Forest."

This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.

-Paulee

https://smallallwhiteintheforest.blogspot.com

This "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" Post No. 018 was edited on September 5th, 2023.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]

Post No. 017: My Only Girlfriend, Part 9 — Fiancée

(Image from Wikimedia Commons)

Fiancée

I shall not
be thwarted by her.

Instead,
I may be flustered under
the polished moon
who wishes
that I would not chew
my food so loudly.
Perhaps,
I will be dumfounded
by the cool sable
pavement
who desires
that I not criticize all
of existence.
Furthermore,
I could be muddled by
a cluster of
emerald reeds
who requests
that I cease any attempts
to save her
from the pond
in which she grows.

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., A Creative Writer)
"I maybe say too much about how life really is!"

My Writing Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: How this poem brings back memories!

The reason that I wrote this poem is because I was engaged to Sandra—who was my first and only girlfriend—to be married. (Although, I seriously don't recall how I proposed to her! Ah, what romance...) And she was seriously bothered by some of the things that I did: I would chew food loudly with my mouth open, and she actually had to teach me how not to do that; and I was always being so critical of everything and everyone; plus, I was trying to "save her" from her family, even though they were "the pond in which she grows."

Therefore, the phrase "I shall not be thwarted by her" was really code for "I can barely handle having to do all of this changing!"

Just so you know, I revised this poem, as I often do with my writing! And I changed how this poem was written when I was editing it on my "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" and "Small All White in the Forest" blogs. So, I wanted to show you how this poem used to be written, before I revised it as above.

And it used to be written like this:

Fiancée

I shall not
be thwarted by her.

Instead,
I may fluster under
the polished moon
that wishes
I would not chew
so loudly.
Perhaps,
I will be dumfounded
by the cool sable
pavement
which desires
I not criticize all
existence.
Furthermore,
I could be muddled by
a cluster of
emerald reeds which
requests that
I cease any attempts
to save her
from the pond
in which she grows.

Thus, I revised this poem to be written as it is above.

And this poem was also published on my "Small All White in the Forest" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Small All White in the Forest."

This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.

-Paulee

https://smallallwhiteintheforest.blogspot.com

This "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" Post No. 017 was edited on September 7th, 2023.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]

Post No. 016: My Only Girlfriend, Part 8 — Instead of Shopping

(Image from UCAR Communications)

Instead of Shopping

Diamonds can wait.
They aren't
nearly as
temporary
as the summer
thunder
and
only half as
precious.

Procrastinating
over the deep
lilac
skies of a solstice
storm,
I lean softly
across
her
watching
Prussian
clouds
voyage by
through a
prismed window.

We fascinate over
draping rain
that
brushes
the valley,
like mosquito
netting
caressing
the unmade bed
of
eight o' clock lovers.

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., A Creative Writer)
"I maybe say too much about how life really is!"

My Writing Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: This poem memorializes one of my most poignant memories from when I was younger, around the age of twenty, and it still moves me to this day...

...I was going with Sandra—who was my first and only girlfriend—to downtown Salt Lake City, Utah to shop for her engagement ring. (Although, I seriously don't recall how I proposed to her! Ah, what romance...) And, while driving along Wasatch Boulevard (a road that overlooks the Salt Lake Valley, which runs along the end of the Rocky Mountains), we saw the most beautiful summer thunderstorm! So, we decided to skip shopping and we just watched this "solstice storm" unfold before us over the valley below.

And this poem was also published on my "Small All White in the Forest" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Small All White in the Forest."

This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.

-Paulee

https://smallallwhiteintheforest.blogspot.com

This "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" Post No. 016 was edited on September 5th, 2023.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]

Post No. 015: My Only Girlfriend, Part 7 — Just Us Two

(Image from Estudio Espana)

Just Us Two

We listen—intently—
to the clouds outside
crying,
as we sigh
in the washed indigo
light.

We murmur, under
a downy scrumptious
blanket,
seductions in the blue
with hushed friend's
breath.

We quietly
dialogue, after passions
consumed.
Talking—
lovely, soft talking,
just us two.

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., A Creative Writer)
"I maybe say too much about how life really is!"

My Writing Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: I feel like this poem "needs no introduction," however, it does "need some clarification." The references to the color indigo, or blue, had to do with the quality of the light in her bedroom while I was cuddling with Sandra—who was my first and only girlfriend—"after passions consumed." And the other thing that I attempted to describe was our conversation, which I tried to capture with the phrase "Talking—lovely, soft talking, just us two." You know, it is so funny how important details like that are when looking back on a particular memory...

And this poem was also published on my "Small All White in the Forest" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Small All White in the Forest."

This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.

-Paulee

https://smallallwhiteintheforest.blogspot.com

This "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" Post No. 015 was edited on September 5th, 2023.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]

Post No. 014: My Only Girlfriend, Part 6 — Warm Portal

(Image from FineArtAmerica.com)

Warm Portal

Let me enter in
through
your warm portal
eternally, as
a welcomed
friend—
not merely
mortal,
as a
wet guest
slipping in to sin.

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., A Creative Writer)
"I maybe say too much about how life really is!"

My Writing Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: I feel like this poem has a great sensual connotation about it that I just love! And I wrote it because I was relating to Sandra—who was my first and only girlfriend—"in a special way," even though we weren't even married! And I wanted to convey the idea of being with her romantically and not just to "get off..."

Just so you know, I revised this poem, as I often do with my writing! And I changed how this poem was written when I was editing it on my "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" and "Small All White in the Forest" blogs. So, I wanted to show you how this poem used to be written, before I revised it as above.

And it used to be written like this:

Warm Portal

Let me enter in
and pass
through
your warm portal
eternally as
a welcomed
friend
not mortal
as a
wet guest
slipping in to sin.

Thus, I revised this poem to be written as it is above.

And this poem was also published on my "Small All White in the Forest" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Small All White in the Forest."

This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.

-Paulee

https://smallallwhiteintheforest.blogspot.com

This "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" Post No. 014 was edited on September 7th, 2023.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]

Post No. 013: My Only Girlfriend, Part 5 — To That Valentine of Mine

(Image from Free All Pictures)

To That Valentine of Mine

To that Valentine of mine,
my friend, my godsend:
with you it’s fine to entwine
and spend all the day’s end!

Please say you’ll stay
and be by the side of me,
to make sane my crazy days;
for, your company is my revelry!

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., A Creative Writer)
"I maybe say too much about how life really is!"

My Writing Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: Obviously, this poem was written for Sandra—who was my first and only girlfriend—for Valentine's Day! And being the gay man that I am, "Romance" is my middle name; sadly, however, my last name is "Cake Boy" and that really throws the "trying-to-be-straight" thing for a loop...

...You see, I was trying really hard to not be gay—and Sandra was trying really hard to "save me" from being gay; but, that is what I was taught by my upbringing in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ("The Mormon Church"): that all gay men should totally deny their homosexual feelings—then get married and have children! Anyway, this poem is still one of my favorites, since it is short and sweet.

And this poem was also published on my "Small All White in the Forest" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Small All White in the Forest."

This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.

-Paulee

https://smallallwhiteintheforest.blogspot.com

This "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" Post No. 013 was edited on September 5th, 2023.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]

Post No. 012: My Only Girlfriend, Part 4 — On The Christmas of Our Nineteenth Year

(Image from Hammacher Schlemmer)

On The Christmas of
Our Nineteenth Year

Of all the people on this
azure planet I can
laugh with, cry with
and love with,
I am most grateful to
have your accompaniment
through my seasons.

With you, I have discovered
a sanctuary in your arms—
safer than a newborn knows;
a taste upon your lips—
sweeter than the nectar a
hummingbird savors;
a softness upon your skin—
more pure than goose
down could ruffle up;
and a wisdom from your heart—
which wise men can
only strive for.

Of all the people on this
sapphire planet you can
talk to, depend on
and be forever loved by,
I am thankful to be
the friend who accompanies
you through your seasons.

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., A Creative Writer)
"I maybe say too much about how life really is!"

My Writing Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: I really like this image of an upside-down Christmas tree that I found on online to illustrate this poem! It reminds me a lot of how I felt when I was growing up in Salt Lake City, Utah: like everything was perfectly normal on the outside, but completely ass-backwards on the inside...

...Anyway, I wrote this poem to Sandra—who was my first and only girlfriend—because I really wanted to convey how much I truly cared about her! At the time I penned this, we had been dating (as I recall) for about a year. And the funny thing is that we only started dating after I came out of the closet as gay to her! You see, I was trying really hard to not be gay—and she was trying really hard to "save me" from being gay (which, again, is ass-backwards). But that is what I was taught by my upbringing in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints ("The Mormon Church"): that all gay men should totally deny their homosexual feelings—then get married and have children—and spend the rest of their closeted lives pretending like everything is "normal."

And this poem was also published on my "Small All White in the Forest" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Small All White in the Forest."

This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.

-Paulee

https://smallallwhiteintheforest.blogspot.com

This "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" Post No. 012 was edited on July 23rd, 2023.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]

Post No. 011: My Only Girlfriend, Part 3 — A Bunch of Balloons

(Image from Balloon Elegance)

A Bunch of Balloons

When life gets to be
blue much,
try to
green and bare it.

If that doesn't work to
grey-t and you
want to
yellow lot,
white not pick up
the phone and
orange to be
with me.

We can put our
reds together and
pink of all the
great reasons
for being alive!

Remember, as God
works in strange
and mysterious
beige, our
purple in life
isn't always
apparent.

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., A Creative Writer)
"I maybe say too much about how life really is!"

My Writing Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: I was feeling really silly when I wrote this poem! And I gave this poem to Sandra—who was my first and only girlfriend—as a way to say "Call me if you are ever feeling 'down and out!'" Also, this poem is a testament to my love of color as a visual artist.

By the way, this poem's title is not the original title (although, I can no longer remember what that first title was), because someone who read this poem commented to me, "It reminds me of a bunch of balloons." In fact, Sandra may have been the one who made the comment about this poem reminding her of 'a bunch of balloons'—after I gave the poem to her—however, I don't recall specifically who said that.

Anyway, whomever made the comment about 'a bunch of balloons' (which, again, may very well have been Sandra), also suggested that I use "A Bunch of Balloons" as the title, instead of the original title which, as I recall, wasn't nearly as descriptive. And the rest, as they say, is history!

And this poem was also published on my "Small All White in the Forest" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Small All White in the Forest."

This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.

-Paulee

https://smallallwhiteintheforest.blogspot.com

This "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" Post No. 011 was edited on July 23rd, 2023.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]

Post No. 010: My Only Girlfriend, Part 2 — Those Damn Glands

(Image from birth.com.au)

Those Damn Glands

Pale sapphire street lights counterfeit the moon,
diffusing through translucent white windows.
We snuggle-bunny, bathing in the blue
and smile at lightning reflected from snow.
Softly, you speak love through a silken touch
and whisper passions with lips moist as dew.
I am fast submerged into a warm hush,
soaking in thoughts of making love to you.

But whatever endeavors run in my blood,
my love is too grand to rush this man so much.
So whenever those damn glands unleash a flood
let us "batten down our hatches," as such.
Thus, this ounce of precaution may prevent
the arrival of an eight pound event!

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., A Creative Writer)
"I maybe say too much about how life really is!"

My Writing Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: I don't know what it is like in the rest of the world, but in Salt Lake City, Utah, there is such a thing as thunderstorms, with lightning, when there is snow on the ground, which is funny.

And the funny thing about heterosexual sex is that women can get pregnant! Then, the "eight pound event" wants to be raised by loving parents, they want to get an education, they want to get a job and their own housing so that they can live independently, and they want to have their own life and relationships.

So, as parents, you have nurture them, you have to raise them, and educate them, and you have to support them until they can support themselves. Clearly, the original inventor of this whole system did not understand how much responsibility it takes to raise children!

Seriously, what was God thinking?

Thus, upon discovering the joy, and the wonder, of heterosexual feelings for Sandra—who was my first and only girlfriend—I also discovered the joy, and the wonder, of worrying about pregnancy!

And this poem was also published on my "Small All White in the Forest" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Small All White in the Forest."

-Paulee

https://smallallwhiteintheforest.blogspot.com

This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.

This "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" Post No. 010 was edited on January 17th, 2023.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]

Post No. 009: My Only Girlfriend, Part 1 — Just Friends

(Image from Gilt Groupe Eligible Magazine)

Just Friends

My dear companion, there've been many times
that I've fancied us as more than just friends.
How I have wished to deliver a kiss of mine,
but the feelings never came enough to send.
When I vowed to caress your skin so fine,
no fire ever inspired this gentleman.
I've cursed myself to show you love sublime,
but the passion wasn't professed again.

But wait...maybe...if I listen carefully...
from deep inside...like an adrenaline rush...
I hold still...and, suddenly, I am feeling it
all over me, like basking in a warm hush.
I ponder, is it love, just possibly?
Oh yes, I'm feeling heterosexuality!

-Paul Whiting
(a.k.a., A Creative Writer)
"I maybe say too much about how life really is!"

My Writing Notes:

The reason that I wrote this poem can be summed up with the following statement: This poem is about my struggle with my homosexuality: because being gay has its "ups and downs," since you "can't get it up" with women and that is what "brings you down!" (Ha, ha.) And I wrote this poem for Sandra, my high school sweetheart—who was my first and only girlfriend—since I loved her so much that I was able to "get it up."

Now, understand that—technically—I am bisexual, but mostly gay. Therefore, being sexually aroused by women is not that far of a "stretch" for me (pun intended), but it happens very rarely...unless I am totally in love. Anyway, at the time I wrote this poem (which was just out of high school, since I graduated in 1985), I was pretty much astounded at my ability to have sexual feelings for Sandra, which was due to the fact I loved her so much!

Just so you know, I revised this poem, as I often do with my writing! And I changed how this poem was written when I was editing it on my "Small All White in the Forest" and "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" blogs. So, I wanted to show you how this poem used to be written, before I revised it as above.

And it used to be written like this:

Just Friends

My dear companion, there've been many times
that I've fancied us as more than just friends.
How I've wished to deliver a kiss of mine,
but feelings never came enough to send.
When I vowed to caress your skin so fine,
no fire ever inspired this gentleman.
I've cursed myself to show you love sublime,
but the passion wasn't professed again.

But wait...maybe...if I listen carefully...
from deep inside...like an adrenaline rush...
I hold still—don't breath—feel it suddenly
over me, like basking in a warm hush.
I ponder, is it love, just possibly?
Heck yes, I'm feeling heterosexuality!

Thus, I revised this poem to be written as it is above.

And this poem was also published on my "Small All White in the Forest" blog (please see the hyperlink below for the blog), since I feel that the message in this poem applies to the message that I am trying to convey through "Small All White in the Forest."

This poem was written in Salt Lake City, Utah.

-Paulee

https://smallallwhiteintheforest.blogspot.com

This "Paul Whiting — A Creative Writer" Post No. 009 was edited on September 7th, 2023.

"Poetry is using the fewest words possible in order to describe all that is possible to describe." –Paul Whiting [June 1st, 2022]